So after Mohawk got his new fauxhawk hair cut Miss T.Hawks had to go out of town for the week on business. Its just me and the kids all week. No problem. I got this.
Apparently Mohawk is feeling kind of daring with his new do! He broke his arm today. Yeah, I know.... I thought I had this. He was jumping on the couch as far as I could tell. See I wasn't actually in the room. While Dad was upstairs vacuuming the living room (see what housework does? Down with it, I say, down with housework) Mohawk was downstairs playing astronaut or superman or see-how-much-trouble-I-can-get-Dad-in-Man.
So I've got Mohawk downstairs on the couch. His arm propped up on a pillow.
"Does it hurt here?"
"No."
"Does it hurt here?"
"Ow."
"Does it hurt here?"
"Ow!"
"Does it hurt here?"
"HERE DAD! IT HURTS HERE! NOT HERE. NOT HERE. HERE!"
I guess it hurts there. Yep, definately broken.
Now we're all piled into the van on the way to the hospital. Lil-Hawks singing Old McDonald Had a Farm. Mohawk pulling through like a trooper. And me... trying to decide whether or not to call Miss T. Hawks... who should be driving back from Detroit with about 3 hours left of her drive.
In a rare moment of clarity and manness, I called her.
You know it went well. About as well as "You broke my son?!" could go.
After that phone call I decide that while I have a captive audience it might be a good time for an object lesson. Because, you know, driving to the hospital with a broken arm is such a pleasant experience I'm sure Mohawk was in the perfect mood for a lecture.
"Mohawk, that is why Daddy tells you not to jump on the couch. It is very easy to get hurt. You need to listen to Daddy when he tells you to do something."
I felt pretty good about that. Its a good time to show a life example and maybe gain a little familial respect.
"Oh my, what happened to you?" asked the nurse as we entered the hospital.
"I didn't listen to my Daddy."
That screeching sound you just heard was the world stopping as every hospital worker within earshot stopped what they were doing and glared at me!
Yeah.... about that familial respect.
Luckily my son is articulate enough to answer the follow up questions honestly and I didn't go to jail. But seriously... when those words came out of his mouth I knew I was going to be Mike Vick's girlfriend.
